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#0 - Introduction to the series "Toxic behaviour in the workplace"

When I wrote my first article on this topic, I realised that one article was not enough. The topic is so extensive that I developed a concept for an entire series, turned the article into episode 1 and now want to take a closer look at various aspects, shed more light on them and generate more awareness and knowledge.

Concept and content of my series on the topic

This is how the idea of a series came about and over the next few weeks I will regularly work on it block by block and write a corresponding article. So you can look forward to an extensive journey into the exciting topic of "Toxic behaviour in the workplace".

As a brief first overview, I will look at the following areas in detail:

#1 - What actually is toxic behaviour?

#2 - What makes it so hard for us to deal with?

#3 - Backgrounds for toxic behaviour

#4 - Dealing with toxic behaviour

#5 - Triggers and triggered reaction patterns

#6 - What does our nervous system have to do with all this?

#7 -10 - Toxic behaviour in different positions

#11 - Toxic behaviour as a man

#12 - Toxic behaviour as a woman

#13 - Conclusion and outlook

Of course, I am also open to suggestions and further ideas - I will be happy to take up your ideas!

Possible reasons for the long silence

Firstly, it is certainly interesting to look at why the topic was hushed up and suppressed for so long. One reason for this could be that toxic behaviour was not even known and conscious for a long time. There was certainly a misconception in many cases that it was due to one's own person and behaviour that one was treated badly or differently. People accepted the way things were without thinking about the fact that there really was something seriously wrong with the person who was behaving strangely, meanly or perfidiously.

This suggests that we are becoming increasingly aware - not only of ourselves, but especially of our surroundings, the prevailing behaviour, discrimination, oppression, obvious differences in treatment, injustice and, above all, pathological personality disorders. Knowledge has increased enormously, the issues are becoming more and more transparent and we can find out about symptoms, details and manifestations anywhere and at any time.

I am therefore convinced that it is particularly important for us to find our way back to self-determination, self-care and self-reflection in order to find a healthy and new way of dealing with the harmful situations that some of us have put up with for years, if not decades.

Bad Banks was just the tip of the iceberg

In my view, another aspect of why the issue has remained in the dark for so long is that this behaviour was and still is the order of the day in many cases in the upper echelons. Let's remember the series "Bad Banks", which gave people goose bumps just watching it and yet those affected realised that this was still a harmless depiction of reality. Frightening, but when you look at one or two economic scandals, you are left with a very uneasy feeling about what must have been going on behind the scenes. However, as those affected are usually kept in check with fear, shame and guilt and those who are deliberately caught up in all the mess will certainly not open their mouths, the truth often remains unknown and is concealed for as long as possible. One covers up for the other, everyone benefits in some way from the situation and the events and so everything remains hidden and under the carpet.

My personal background to this topic

My personal background to this topic

I was really pleased to see on linkedin that Pandora's box seems to be slowly opening here and the topic has become "socially acceptable". It is particularly close to my heart as I have personally endured precisely these situations for years. In the deep inner belief that this is exactly the right thing to do. In a way, it was my comfort zone, as I also had a toxic home, which naturally suggested to me as a child that the world had to be the same. It gave me security, as paradoxical as it may sound.

Decades of reappraisal, however, have led me to my new convictions and so I am on fire to finally be able to address this topic publicly and will do so wholeheartedly. A book has already been written and the search for a publisher is still ongoing.

With this in mind, I would be delighted if you are interested in this topic and are as enthusiastic about it as I am, if I can provide valuable impulses and insights and if you continue to follow my series.

Of course, I am also available as a coach - because in my opinion, it is impossible and unnecessary to tackle these topics alone.

Get support to give you confidence in dealing with such personalities!

There is always a solution! Trust yourself!



Coaching offers ideal support here to either take the first steps in conflict management and analysing one's own reaction structures or to directly implement new skills that enable and empower all those involved to learn to deal well and confidently with corresponding situations in relationships. Another option is to act as a mediator or observer and outline a neutral picture of the prevailing relationship patterns in the department or company and use this to provide insights and recommendations for action to the decision-makers.

Trusting that the best possible solution will be allowed to develop and be implemented.


Coaching can provide you with targeted support in overcoming upcoming challenges at every stage - internally in the team or as a leader in the company. Let's work out together how I can provide you in your individual situation with optimal support and customised assistance.

Contact me to take your next steps

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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