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Humanity at work - a new trend?

The title is deliberately intended to be a little off-putting, because wouldn't it be desirable not to have to make such an effort and pretend in the professional environment? Too many people are still of the opinion that you have to behave in your job, what is required and what you absolutely have to do.

Pressure is channelled from the top downwards, tasks are assigned at will or according to sympathies or antipathies and in the end, just before the goal is reached, the goal is often postponed again.

In many places, an atmosphere of inhumanity prevails, making it difficult for those involved to break out of this structure.

As a short to medium-term consequence, sickness rates and employee turnover increase rapidly, performance drops and costs rise. Hallelujah!

The more severe the consequences and tangible effects become, the greater the pressure and the whole thing ends in a vicious downward spiral. In the end, everything is added to a restructuring process and the frustration increases.

The importance of humanity

So what would happen if humanity were to return? What would be our fears? That we would give up the control we don't have? Or that performance would suffer, which it already does? Or that we would be exposed as human beings with real feelings, worries, needs and potential?

Let's be honest - which people - as a rule - fascinate us the most? Isn't it those who have something to tell? Those who have gained experience, share their stories, feelings and fears? Who show us their true colours and thus appear so charismatic and attractive? Who, with their courage, assertiveness and will to survive, give us hope and comfort and encourage us to carry on, stick with it and recognise the meaning again?

So why on earth do we try to hide these very sides of ourselves that make us human in public? Do we try to withstand the pressure, even though we not only disagree, but also have a better solution up our sleeve? Do we take part in a play or two for the sake of others, only to feel bad at home and no longer feel ourselves?

What does it mean to be human?

Isn't it about being kinder to yourself and others? Living empathy, being able to empathise, support, accompany and not only show yourself, but also allow your own feelings. In particular, however, it is also about owning up to your own weaknesses, recognising what I do well and where I need to catch up. It's about openness and honesty, morals and ethics, self-confidence and the ability to reflect.

As a manager, am I able to resolve conflicts well for everyone? Or do my competences lie more in other areas? Am I present, approachable and there for others? Do others around me feel comfortable with me? Do I have good and stable relationships?

Critical faculties and remorse

Another important topic is the ability to take criticism when the mood is not only positive, but also when the wind blows a little rougher. For example, when mistakes are made - do I tend to talk my way out of them or can I take responsibility, show my side and thus signal strength and self-confidence?

How do I deal with situations that I regret and critically question my decision in retrospect?

Am I able to step out of unpleasant feelings and perspectives and recognise the potential and strength in these situations? What do I need to do this?

From a human perspective, it is essential to allow and show your feelings. This is the only way to bring about change and transformation. With the visor down and a kind of permanent protection, no connection with others can develop and those around me will also lower their visor - as a precaution and to be on the safe side.

Dealing with emotions

Because where do our judgements of feelings come from? Who says that fear or anger is a bad thing? First of all, it's a feeling that I'm having right now. Nothing more and nothing less. Dealing with it in an unhealthy way turns it into something "bad". If I remain neutral, look at it, observe it, accept it and allow it, it disappears after just a few minutes - 90 seconds to be precise.

And it shows me my connection with others, makes me approachable and shows me to be vulnerable. People feel much closer in honesty and emotionality than in business situations that run according to plan. Seeing that others feel the same way as you does brings you closer together.

And it shows others our own vulnerability, mistakes and weaknesses in the way we deal with ourselves. If we are hard on ourselves, it does not show a high level of self-esteem. This not only hurts us, but also those who are watching. Our belief that scathing self-criticism will spur us on to higher performance and allow us to persevere and improve is a fallacy. Because only compassion for ourselves leads us to peak performance.

We can learn a lot from criticism if we perceive it as observers, analyse it and deal with the results wisely, use it to our advantage and grow from it. However, it is important to deal with it openly and honestly. And not dismissing it, but also not putting on every shoe.

Criticism threatens our most important basic psychological needs - security and appreciation. And so we often take refuge in our stress reactions, which unfortunately do not allow us to grow and do not bring us any further realisation.


Humanity is the key to trusting and deep connections and, in my view, the important glue for good and trusting collaboration. If we show ourselves as we are, are in good contact with ourselves, clearly and honestly admit what we are in the moment, we will also experience a completely different atmosphere, genuine trust and considerable growth at work. Our charisma will change. This is how real charisma can develop!

Ultimately, we all want to be seen and heard and feel that we belong.

Managers have a key role to play here and can bring about change if they recognise and accept their position as a role model on the path through unfamiliar territory.



Coaching offers ideal support here to either take the first steps in conflict management and analysing one's own reaction structures or to directly implement new skills that enable and empower all those involved to learn to deal well and confidently with corresponding situations in relationships. Another option is to act as a mediator or observer and outline a neutral picture of the prevailing relationship patterns in the department or company and use this to provide insights and recommendations for action to the decision-makers.

Trusting that the best possible solution will be allowed to develop and be implemented.


Coaching can provide you with targeted support in overcoming upcoming challenges at every stage - internally in the team or as a leader in the company. Let's work out together how I can provide you in your individual situation with optimal support and customised assistance.

Contact me to take your next steps

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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