top of page

I have no time! - another phenomenon of our time

Do a little exercise with me and replace the standard sentence

"I don't have time" with

"This is not a priority for me"...


Please just pay attention to how it feels for you.

Lessons learnt from this small exercise

When I did this exercise for the first time, I was deeply affected. Because that's exactly what I've always felt, and that's why I felt rejected by others, my needs disregarded, and so on. Because of course the other person has time, they just don't want to take it for my issues.

This has a completely different meaning and is so much more honest.

However, I found the realisation about myself more shocking. Because what things do I not make time for, no time for myself?

No time to exercise, change my diet, finally call an old friend again, meet new people, tidy up the cellar etc. etc.


Why can't I just be honest with myself?

Exactly, it's just not a priority for me right now.


And when I apply that to some of my endeavours, I feel the lack of self-care. So it's a great new tool for me to get to the bottom of what I really want and what's good for me.

The "I have no time!" phenomenon

But back to the "I have no time!" phenomenon. In my opinion, it is closely linked to the increasingly intense self-optimisation mania! This permanent compulsion to keep changing, to improve, to get ahead, to recognise oneself and then, of course, to finally develop in the best possible way, etc.

The mania for self-realisation, which has to be perfect at all costs and include everything we have always wanted, is driving us to the next burnout. We have to cram everything into our day - sport, contemplation, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, professional cooking and baking, optimal cleaning, organising, stacking, storing, looking perfect, appearing eloquent etc etc etc. The list is now endless. The list is now endless. Social media bombards us with additional demands, some of which we didn't even know about before, and so the list gets longer and longer and we can't keep up. The less we fulfil, the worse we feel.

Time is running out and we are chasing ever more glamourous ideals, while the truly nourishing things fall by the wayside due to time constraints.

What is our real goal? Who do we want to represent in the end?

Current countermovements

It is extremely contrary to the current energy movement. This is because it brings with it the dissolution of "having to" and thus also the elimination of the compulsion that we have been living with for thousands of years. We will certainly feel this conflict in the coming months and years. Always driven by the real question: "What do I really want?"

The clarity to make decisions is essential for this. Making a decision requires taking a clear stance and thus making a choice. This is often difficult, especially in our age of countless options. In most cases, different values simply clash. It is therefore necessary to be aware of your own scale of values.

However, the decision that needs to be made is often postponed for fear of missing out on something or because there are painful memories of previous decisions made in similar situations.

However, the problems usually get bigger if the decision is postponed or not made at all.

The fantasy of optimisation

There is a scientist called Gerd Gigerenzer who calls this whole back and forth "optimality fantasy". The idea that there is a perfect solution, the optimum. The search for it is part of our human behaviour. Unfortunately, it often makes us dissatisfied and even unhappy.

Instead of wasting our time searching for the perfect solution, it would make more sense to look for a solution that is simply good enough.

What does the solution have to fulfil? What are the requirements and demands?

The solution is found when these criteria match one of the possible options.

This makes it easier to make a decision and that would already be a big win!

Let's turn our focus away from the vision of the flying, egg-laying wool-milk sow and place it instead on a single aspect that fulfils our being and heart, makes us happy and ultimately gives us enough time so that we can finally take a deep breath and be ourselves again!

Perhaps the value of "contentment" is our new credo!



Coaching offers ideal support here to either take the first steps in self-reflection and self-management and to directly implement new skills that enable and empower all those involved to learn to deal well and confidently with relevant situations in relationships.

Trusting that the best possible solution will be allowed to develop and be implemented.


Coaching can provide you with targeted support in overcoming upcoming challenges at every stage - internally in the team or as a leader in the company. Let's work out together how I can provide you in your individual situation with optimal support and customised assistance.

Contact me to take your next steps

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

Please share the post on:


bottom of page