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I have to - it has long since become a must!

In recent decades, the phenomenon of "having to" has become more and more widespread and has woven its way through our society, infiltrating us and taking us further and further away from our own needs.

The motto - higher, faster, further - has been deeply imprinted on most of us from a very early age, and by that I actually mean the last generations before and including Generation X, and has given us the idea of what should happen in life.

Caught up in the media frenzy

Look at social media today - who has the most likes and followers? This has also become a kind of new compulsion - how well known and popular am I? An exhibition of vanity, simply in a different format. The door is wide open for those with the best camera, the most precise software and the right mentors. What is it all about? Flattering your own ego because everyone is working from home? Oh, which is currently being attempted to be reversed with massive measures - perhaps also for this reason. Who knows for sure? If you assume that others are not themselves either, we really are living in a kind of "Truman Show" - frightening, sad, but unfortunately very real.

We gave everything for our status, were trained, drilled, swallowed all the norms, rules and duties without realizing what we were doing to ourselves. Namely exactly that - a life against ourselves. We were unaware of our own needs, and in many sessions over the years we slowly reclaimed them and, if we were very lucky, we were even able to let them enter our lives peu-a-peu.

Many of us became ill, some of them incurably and left directly without really having lived. Others were cured, some with the courage and strength to turn their lives around and finally be themselves.

Back to your own roots

It is an arduous process back to yourself. The path is quite painful in parts. It hurts to admit who and what you have followed and for what reasons. At some point, even without questioning. We followed logic, the mind. Our heart often fell by the wayside.


When I look at our system today, I feel sad. We know so much, have had so many experiences ourselves and yet we continue to live in the same box, day in, day out. What exactly do we need to finally do our own thing? To be authentic? To drop our masks?


Certainly self-confidence, self-determination, assertiveness, plenty of courage, self-worth and self-connectedness from within. We will always encounter triggers, have painful experiences and sometimes find ourselves in old patterns - but that's life. The important thing here is how we deal with the situations! This is where we recognize the healing...

The outside follows the inside

On the outside, we will change our lives, bring clarity to our relationships, cultivate other partnerships and friendships, question our jobs and change them if necessary, change our values and turn things upside down. This is also called healing... But please be careful - perfectionism and self-optimization are undesirable! It's really about natural movements and developments, changes that follow your inner voice, your intuition.

In the new era, the outside follows the inside. We will pay much more attention to ourselves, look at who or what is good for us and what is not. The compulsion has finally come to an end. Bit by bit, we can say goodbye to it, because no growth is possible in this system, except perhaps an unhealthy one. We have been proving this to ourselves for decades and can finally stop. Let's devote ourselves to our lives for a change!

The motto of the new era is - slower, more conscious, less.

I'm excited to see what will change, reveal itself and reinvent itself in the coming months and years and I'm really looking forward to experiencing this change.

It feels a little like a flower whose bud is slowly opening to present its magnificent blossom to the world. The flower doesn't have to and yet it goes through its process like clockwork, year after year, exactly to its own rhythm.

Let us finally trust ourselves and let go of what is no longer good for us!



Coaching offers ideal support here to either take the first steps in self-reflection and self-management and to directly implement new skills that enable and empower all those involved to learn to deal well and confidently with relevant situations in relationships.

Trusting that the best possible solution will be allowed to develop and be implemented.


Coaching can provide you with targeted support in overcoming upcoming challenges at every stage - internally in the team or as a leader in the company. Let's work out together how I can provide you in your individual situation with optimal support and customised assistance.

Contact me to take your next steps

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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