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The fine line between a manager and a leader

The risk of overwork and increasing stress result in ever-increasing psychological strain. As a result, unfulfilled expectations usually lead immediately to a major conflict. The brain increasingly goes into the impulsive mode of judgement and reaction. You no longer have any time between action and reaction.

However, it is precisely in these situations that reflection and a balance between responsibility and empathy are key. Certainly not an easy task, but the culture and environment of your team must be and remain healthy in order to have a good chance of meeting the day-to-day challenges.

The how becomes more important than the what

Since you as a manager have a responsibility here, it is important to pause and ask yourself the following questions when frustration and despair increase:

How do I communicate?

Surely the key word here is: clarity! Only when the goal has been defined can it be communicated and the necessary resources planned by the team. It is also very much about communicating the vision and the team's contribution to it. If there is an understanding of what role the individual plays in the big picture, a higher level of team energy can emerge. Communication is also not a one-way street or even a dead end. It must take place regularly, it conveys interest in others and builds trust.

What are my expectations?

Here it is important to compare the available resources with the task in order to analyse which expectations are reasonable and achievable. It is also important to ask whether additional resources, funding and support are required in order to overcome any new or existing challenges.

Ambitious goals can only be achieved with appropriate support. A good question is - what is needed?

What is my role?

It is important to view the competences and situation of an employee as neutrally and with the greatest possible distance. Where do they stand? What could provide support? Where are they stuck? What do they need? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What are their highest values? What does he respond to and how?

In the event of a drop in performance, for example, enter into a personal, friendly dialogue and find out the possible reasons for this. Active listening is the top priority here. Sound out with him what could really support and help him and signalise cohesion and support.

What is my goal?

Focussing on the result makes it easier for those involved to consider different paths and remain free to achieve their goals. This allows everyone involved to choose their own individual approach without being overly restricted. The autonomy of the individual is preserved. Micromanagement destroys this valuable strength and source.

The team thus assumes personal responsibility for the successful achievement of objectives and realises the purpose of its work and its contribution to success. This not only strengthens the team, but also increases employee loyalty, enjoyment of work and co-operation.

How neutral am I?

This is about the fair and neutral assessment of your team, unbiased, impartial and honest. This is where the Thomas principle comes into play - the tendency to bring people into the team who have a similar personality to you.

What potential for improvement or development do I have myself?

Would it be advantageous, for example, if you addressed mistakes in good time, went into conflict and drew attention to issues? Open communication not only creates trust, but also promotes improved performance and commitment, because undesirable developments are recognised and new solutions can be found. The team and each individual feel seen.

Of course, these are not pleasant topics to deal with at first. They also require discipline, honesty and energy to deal with yourself, your own strengths and weaknesses and possibly also misbehaviour. But the changes and results will inspire you. You will feel more loyalty and enjoyment in the workplace and therefore increased productivity and performance, which will benefit everyone and spur them on even more.

It's in your hands!

And you will feel the fine difference between a pure, success-driven manager and a genuine, sensitive leader!

Coaching can support you here to experience yourself, to recognize your blockages and to overcome them in order to carry your gained self-confidence into your life and of course into your relationships.


Coaching can support you and your growth in each of the phases in a targeted manner - internally in the company or personally in your private life. In a clarifying introductory meeting, a modular concept will be developed to provide you and your transformation with optimal guidance and individual support.

Contact me to start your journey into a fulfilled future

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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