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The time for good intentions

Do you know that too? The hope that next year will bring more change, positive innovations and a completely different framework? Everything old suddenly disappears into thin air and all the tedious blockages that you have been fighting against this year have finally disappeared overnight and you can suddenly introduce all the changes that have been burning in your heart for years with renewed energy.

When I read articles like this on how we can realise resolutions and successfully achieve goals, my heart turns over in my chest. All the wise mindfulness and self-care topics that we have read about and tried to learn over the year seem to be blown away in the familiar hamster wheel self-harm manner.

Instructions for the inner driver

People argue with dopamine boosters and the "challenge" to set goals as high as possible so that the probability of actually realising them is high enough. Tips such as creating precise action plans, when to do what, how often and how often are shared. Lists of how much time is spent on achieving which goals should help us to focus better, influence and control our physical activities and stay in control.

Rewarding is even discouraged - it reduces motivation. It is better to reward arbitrarily, without context. How do we trick our brain, implement neuroplasticity and spur ourselves on to achieve a goal and then immediately strive for the next one? It all sounds like exploitation and abuse to my ears. Haven't we been brought up in the same way? Always more, faster, higher, further?

Only if we aim for the big time will we achieve anything?

What we really need

I don't know about you, but my whole energy field is contracting and I feel like I have to protect myself from the next self-harm. Aren't we now truly trapped in the next hamster wheel - the self-optimisation spiral? Which doesn't fit in at all with the statements that we are all enough as we are, that we don't need to "fix" anything because we already have everything inside us and much more.

When I read these articles and advice (!), an enormous rage rises up in me! How can such publications still be published when we know that our soul works in a completely different way, that the way out of our own torture chamber is through mechanisms such as goodwill, compassion and comfort. Rather, our happiness lies in balance, inner peace, integration and accepting our limits. This does not mean that we lie down lethargically on the couch and no longer have any ambitions. But it does mean that we treat ourselves and our nature more lovingly and mindfully and, above all, recognise that it is our choice and decision. We always have power over our lives, no matter what anyone tries to tell us.

How we find our way

Of course, transformation and healing are constantly taking place within us, we are working on ourselves, but we are no longer overrunning ourselves. It's about integrating the parts that we have spent decades trying to finally get rid of and that have become even stronger and more powerful and grown within us as a result.

Because our system can't just function, strict discipline doesn't lead to success but rather to self-abandonment and we can finally really allow ourselves breaks for relaxation and self-reflection.

Because what makes us different from machines? That we have a heart, that we are guided by our intuition and feelings, which lead us individually on our path. In a way that is beneficial and helpful for us and our body, mind and soul.

Trust is the keyword here - not control. Find yourself and stay true to yourself!

Comparison is like poison, and there will always be others who do things differently - according to their own taste and well-being.

Accompanying coaching can be a great support, helping you to implement your very own, individual plans in a loving and appreciative way, allowing you to play through upcoming or experienced situations and deal with your emotions, behavioural patterns and beliefs in a way that is detached from everyday life. The learning curve is enormous and helps you to rediscover and intensify your enthusiasm, motivation and enthusiasm for yourself and your life.

Hang in there - because the transformation that sets in and the inner liberation that comes with it will support you on your journey!


Coaching can support you and your growth in each of the phases in a targeted manner - internally within the company or personally. In a clarifying introductory meeting, a modular concept is developed that provides you and your project with optimum support and individualised assistance.

Contact me to start your journey into a fulfilled future

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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