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Which manager is really manager?

Managers who are still old school are currently having particular difficulties convincing employees who are willing to change to stay. - Why is that?

As long as the manager has not yet matured enough to confront difficult situations in a socially acceptable way, he or she will avoid any unpleasant confrontation and rather sit out the issues. After all, if we only move in the comfort zone, we are not open to the unknown. So solutions can never be found and attempted outside the zone. But since this is essential in modern times, finding new ways outside the box, these behaviours or belief systems are doomed to failure.

For employees who may be leaving, this is the final sign to look elsewhere and ultimately seek the proverbial far away. Appreciation, acceptance and being seen are now the most important components that employees demand from their managers. But how can this be given if one has not experienced it oneself and neither knows how it feels nor how to give it to others.

It is not important for the leader to feel good, it is beneficial, but will be an inevitable consequence if the team feels good. Companies need to understand this - promoting an employee to manager who is simply very good at their job is not the last word in wisdom. The company loses a 'doer' and expert and gains a manager who will continue to deal with and define their professional issues as before.

Where do leaders come from?

Managers are not created, developed or constructed in the company. A manager has the necessary charisma and understanding and has simply developed in the course of his or her life into a person who is able to deal with people mindfully and well.

This is the basis of the entire paradigm shift. It is always solely about the individual person and his or her personal abilities. It is no longer the education, the professional career, the career ladder that is decisive and decisive, but the developed personality, the soft skills and the joy of working with people, for people.

The pressure, however, and one of the worst assumptions that managers have to get it right the first time and conquer the challenge, makes it impossible for a manager to tackle his or her new tasks. The balance between success and failure must also be introduced in upper echelons. In the end, the core of failure is the realisation that another solution has to be found - so development and growth takes place.

How is that different from being a manager?

The essential main task of the leader in relation to the manager is to allow the leadership qualities to grow in others - to allow the empowerment to lead. This is a different starting point from that of a manager who has problems to solve. This huge difference should not be underestimated.

The new requirement is to be the supportive part, the one who encourages, challenges and values others - in what they do, how they do it and who they are in the process.

Coaching can support in reclaiming the dreams needed for fulfilment, recognising the alternative actions for emotional balance and experiencing the richness and fullness of life in each moment. First in each individual, then in the team and finally in the company.


Coaching can support you on your journey to becoming the best leader - internally in the company or privately on a personal level. A 6-week or 6-month individually oriented coaching concept leads you optimally to directly visible and tangible successes.

Contact me to start your journey into a fulfilled future

Nicole Dildei Coaching

+49 157 58 267 427

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